I thought I was a Travel Expert

I watched a guy on YouTube once
He said, “Europe’s easy, trust me.”
I found a “deal” at 1 a.m.
That felt suspiciously lucky.

Twenty-seven browser tabs,
Two credit cards, one prayer —
But hey, I saved a hundred bucks,
So obviously I was aware.

You said, “Let me know if you need me.”
I said, “Girl, I got this trip.”
I’ve booked a hotel before in Tulsa,
How different could this be, really?



Basic economy? Sounds fine.
Connection time? Twelve minutes? I’ll run.
Travel insurance? I never get sick.
Decline. Decline. Decline. Done.



I thought I was a travel expert,
Basically a pro online.
Now I’m eating airport pretzels
For the third missed flight in line.

Should’ve called my travel agent
Like she gently told me twice…
Turns out “non-refundable”
Isn’t just… strong advice.

Oh I thought I saved some money —
I was feelin’ pretty smug.
Now I’m crying at a customer service desk
While hugging my carry-on like a pug.



My “charming boutique” hotel
Had “European-style appeal.”
Which I later learned translates to:
“Surprise! No air conditioning is real.”

Ocean view? Technically yes —
If I leaned out past the drain.
And the “cozy” room description
Meant I could shower while on the plane.

Then the storm rolled through on day two,
Cruise ship couldn’t dock.
Excursions gone. No refunds.
Just policies that mock.

And suddenly I’m googling phrases like
“What is a fare class waiver?”
While my travel agent’s other clients
Are sipping wine with favors.



Didn’t know about schedule changes.
Didn’t know about strikes.
Didn’t know airlines can reroute you
To cities you don’t even like.

Didn’t know about emergency lines
Agents magically have access to…
Meanwhile I’m on hold for four hours
Listening to pan flute blues.




I thought I was a travel expert,
Captain of my fate.
Now my luggage is vacationing
In a completely different state.

Should’ve bought the travel insurance
Like she recommended kindly…
Now I’m calculating medical bills
In currencies I can’t pronounce correctly.

Oh I thought I was unstoppable,
A booking mastermind myself…
Now I have her number saved as
“Call Before You Wreck Yourself.”




Past me: “I don’t need a travel agent.”
Present me: dehydrated. mildly defeated.
Texting her from a foreign airport floor:
“Hey… hypothetically… are you free?


Next trip I’m calling my travel agent
Before I touch a thing.
She can fight the airlines for me
While I live my best life, king.

She reads the fine print. Knows the tricks.
Has backup plans in place.
While I was playing travel roulette,
She was running a masterclass race.

Yeah, I thought I could do it alone…
Thought I was clever myself…

But the real VIP upgrade
Is letting the expert
Handle it.